"A LESSON IN LOVE" 

A VOTE OF THANKS 

SPEECH BY THE FATHER OF THE DECEASED: PRINCE MANGOSUTHU BUTHELEZI  

Today we gather in a state of shock that one so vital and lovely should be cruelly plucked from our midst so suddenly and without warning. 

Our daughter has walked from this earth into eternity. Princess Lethuxolo is no longer with us. Never again will she walk through the door with that familiar grin, immaculately trendy hair and flawless complexion. She sits with the saints and her forebears, in life everlasting. If we were not certain of this, we surely could not stand the wave of raw grief that threatens to overwhelm us. 

There are so many questions left unanswered by her passing. Why was she taken so young? Why did this happen? How will we manage without her? The only answer which arises to grant us comfort is that this brief moment on earth has given way to an eternity of joy and peace for Lethuxolo. Today she dances and sings in heaven's green meadows. Lethuxolo was, of course, known to all of us affectionately as Xolo. 

I only called her "MKI" an affectionate pet name that was known only just between the two of us. 

Xolo, like most children, loved her parents and siblings, but she was never afraid. I guess she was not the kind of girl who could keep a lid on her feelings. She was much too an irrepressible a personality for that. 

Lethuxolo like all of my children had to carry the burden which all my children carry as my children. My political enemies never spared them either at the institutions where they studied and in their places of employment. 

She had to resign partly because she could no longer bear some of the snipes and indirect hostile references to me even in her place of employment to by some of her senior officials. In other words she became the butt of much opprobrium that was directed at me, as her father. There were some officials who regarded her presence within government employ as an opportunity to vent their spleens! So she never had it easy even spiritually, when she carried such a heavy load of work. 

I thank God for all the 8 children that He gave us. After all the Psalmist says "Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them". So Irene and I were blest, in this sense. I thank their mother IRENE THANDEKILE MZILA-BUTHELEZI for allowing me to plant my seed in her body so many times! I know that these days anyone who can duplicate an image of himself so many times, is regarded as inconsiderate to say the least and worse!. Lethuxolo like her siblings was a special gift to me and her mother. In another sense she was a very special gift to me. As you know I was fortunate when the late Dominee Beyers Naude's protégé Ms. Constance Sekati joined my office in the 70 s.

Later on Dominee Beyers Naude as Director of the Christian Institute, sent Walter Felgate and his wife Sue to come to MAHLABATHINI to assist me, when I worked from the prefab office near St. Francis Mission in Mahlabathini. As you know Walter Felgate finally betrayed me, and moved to the ANC with a van load of some of the documentation of my work covering more than three decades. But Sue Felgate remained with me as she worked with me even after Walter Felgate divorced her. After that Sue Felgate continued to work for me and had to double up, when Connie Sekati retired from Government service.

Things were much better when she toiled with Ms Bongiwe Maphanga when I was still Minister of Home Affairs. She and Lethuxolo worked very hard and were inseparable like JUNO'S SWANS! 

Sue Felgate worked 24 hours a day with me with such remarkable efficiency and dedication. When both of them, Sue Felgate and Connie Sekati, had left my employ, this left a big void in my work. I was extremely worried, as to whether Lethuxolo would cope almost alone, with my work-load.  She did so with remarkable dedication and competence. She became a very special gift to me from God, in the manner that she never ever questioned my slave-driving habits in my employment of her. I often joked with her that she did not report me to the Labour Court for child labour, because of her love and loyalty to me as my child. 

I never remember even once Xolo pouting her mouth when I so often asked her to drop whatever she was doing for herself, to do my work. This is the time for me to thank God for having given me and my family and the people of this Province and South Africa, such a precious vessel, that Xolo was. 

It never crossed my mind even once that I would ever be faced with such a dead-end situation in my work, because her services were no longer available to me. 

All I need to do is to repeat with that Holy man of God, Job that "THE LORD GAVE AND THE LORD HAS TAKEN AWAY; BLESSED BE THE NAME OF THE LORD." That was a Godly man of God who uttered those words. And I am only a poor sinner whom God blessed undeservedly. I still find it difficult to believe that I will never see my "MKI" and tease her for her love of chocolate and the fact that she had such a good appetite and it never did a thing to her figure. I often asked her how she did it and she would just giggle. I just thank God that she was a sinner who died trying fitting that definition and I wish that when my own end comes that I would fit in with that definition for that is what it means to aspire as a sinner, to be a saint. 

In times of trial, I always turn to the Word of God. It is a habit that has served me well over the years, when Irene and I have faced indescribable sorrows in both my personal and public life. When I looked at St Paul's famous paean to love in 1 Corinthians 13, I was struck by the familiarity of the description. To my ears, it sounded like a perfect description of Xolo.

The evidence of love in Lethuxolo's life speaks loudly in Saint Paul's words- 

"4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
5 It is not rude, it is not self seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8 Love never fails…" 

Having spent my life serving in politics, government and traditional leadership, I have reached an understanding that nothing is of any consequence in the absence of love. Without the love of my family and close friends, my soul would be in poverty.  St Paul wrote- 

"1 If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging symbol. 
2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing…" 

After almost eighty years on this earth, I understand a truth that my daughter, Xolo, simply lived. And I still grasp this truth blindly, while Xolo today has received clarity of sight. 

As St Paul wrote- 

"12 Now we see but a poor reflection in a mirror, then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part, then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. 
13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love.  But the greatest of these is love." 

But I don't want to give the impression that Xolo was a saint. How she would squirm if she thought that was the case! I just thank God that just like me she was a sinner who died trying. I wish I would try as she did to the end of my days. 

So I am grateful that Xolo's Pastor, Pastor Chris Cope was able to take part in leading her funeral service. Lethuxolo like all our other children was brought up as an Anglican. She later chose to worship in the BARAK CHURCH.  And later joined the True Light Ministry and that is what Freedom of Religion is all about. 

Xolo was a modern girl, a woman of our time, a noble and loyal lady in her late forties who could easily have passed for 30.  She was also the mother to her beloved daughter Nontokozo who we are today consumed up with sorrow for. We promise to take care of you Nontokozo and to equip you spiritually and mentally as your mother dearly cherished you, and as we have always cherished you. You have always spent more time with your grandmother and myself than with your beloved mother. But we know how much you admired your mum. We are all so sorry for you LATOYA! You were indeed an apple of her eye. You know that we shared the love that we had for your mother as our daughter with you as her progeny. Nothing will change except for the void that she has left which will always remind us of so many lovely things that Xolo (or "MKI" as I always affectionately called her) did for all of us. 

I can see her now in my mind's eye. Xolo did not walk, she had the poise and grace of a gazelle. She was a bit of show stopper without really knowing.

Xolo's elegance and style never failed to bring a sigh of pride to her parents when she entered a room. 

Xolo had a dazzling personality and everyone she met was touched by her zest for life. She loved a good party with music blazing and good company. I can hardly believe that we will never hear that shriek of laughter or that uproarious giggle. She had a mischievous, but never unkind, sense of humour and a lovely twinkle in her beautiful eyes that she inherited from her equally beautiful mother. 

She always seemed to have an unending supply of sweets and chocolates in her handbag - amongst that glorious assortment of sunglasses, cell phone, lipstick and what not which ladies carry – which she munched on through the day. Heavens know how, but she never picked up a pound of extra weight. She was particularly partial to good chocolate and I was always sure to pick some up for her on my travels. 

I don't know how I would have managed over the last five years without her diligence and professionalism. I have no idea what we will do now. 

She never complained once about the long hours and arduous hours she put in.

Our operation is small and little resourced, but Xolo patiently made it run smoothly and oiled it with more than a little laughter. 

After Xolo passed away on Sunday, I found some notes in that unmistakable handwriting she had left for me pertaining to some drafts she had prepared.

I would do anything to write one last note back to my darling daughter to simply say "I love you".  After all, Xolo was a lesson in love. 

I think of the timeless and aching beauty of Shakespeare's famous passage in Romeo and Juliet. I hope you will not mind if I substitute Xolo's name for Romeo. 

"Come, night; come Xolo; thou day in night; 

For thou wilt lie upon the wings of night 

Whiter than new snow on a raven's back. 

Come, gentle night, come, loving black brow'd night. 

Give me my Xolo; and when she shall die, 

Take her and cut her out in little stars, 

And she will make the face of heaven so fine 

That all the world will be love with night 

And pay no worship to the garish sun." 

Goodnight my darling Princess. Until we meet again, hamba kahle! SHENGE!
NDABEZITHA! 

Let me thank all of you who have supported us throughout the time of this tragic loss. 

I have no words adequate enough that can describe to you how Irene and I are so humbled by all the messages that we have received from the King to his humblest subjects. From the Head of State His Excellency Mr. Thabo Mbeki and his wife and our former President Madiba to ordinary South African citizens in the street. 

We have been overwhelmed by your love. Each time a tragedy strikes us only then is it demonstrated how much we are loved by so many people in South Africa regardless of race, class or status in life. As the most vilified political leader in the Country this often escapes my memory. I think I have not thanked God enough for so much love that you have always surrounded us with each time tragedy strikes us. May the Lord bless you and yours for doing to others as you would like done to you to yourselves. We are particularly proud of the manner in which our President's wife, MAMA MA-DLAMINI is the very personification of UBUNTU-BOTHO. What an amazing example she sets up for all of us in South Africa. I also thank His Excellency the President of the ANC, Mr. JG Zuma who sent his two good ladies to come and comfort us. Please thank MSHOLOZI for this act of compassion. 

Thanks to you all and forgive us for whatever mistakes we have made during these moments of great sorrow. The Zulu people have a very wonderful saying:
"OFILEYO KABANJELWA GAMA." TAKE NO OFFENCE FROM THE WORD OF THE BEREAVED." 

God bless you. God bless all our leaders. God Bless South Africa.